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Monday 24 June 2024

6° Of Separation, In New Zealand, it is more like 3° of Separation ...

"Six Degrees Of Separation ..."

Have you heard of Six Degrees of Separation?
We live in New Zealand, and it is more like 3° of Separation ...

Please Press "P L A Y" for my Clip from Saturday 22.06.2024

For the last 30 years, I have been in a "Flight, Fight, Freeze" situation called "The Struggle Switch" by Dr Russ Harris, I am also learning some coping techniques for my stress levels.
I run regular background checks on any new person that enters my life, including my Medical Professionals - I had 8 Medical Appointments last week!
I check LinkedInFacebook, and do a Google search too on each person.
Usually, I only take on new Clients by word of mouth, in that someone I know can "vouch" for them!
I am very protective of my Kiddos {who are now 22-years-old, and almost 21-years-old}, and have tried to keep them out of the limelight {Internet/Facebook} as much as possible - for their own safety.


"The Struggle Switch" by Dr Russ Harris

About five years ago, I remember running from the house one night so scared, I even left my shoes behind.
I ran next door, who just happened to be a Cop's house.
When I knocked on their door, I made some excuse as to wondering if their daughter could walk my Pug Madi the next day.
The husband {Policeman} walked me home, and checked the house, before leaving, I never did have the courage to tell him why I ran.

W H Y am I in a "Flight, Fight, Freeze" situation?
Because 30 years ago, when I was 19-years-old, I was Raped by someone I thought of as a friend, and held there for 3 days in a building that looked like a Karate Dojo on the side of a Hill in Wellington.
When I went to the Police 8 years ago, with this basic description, they found the address within 24 hours, even though the building had been long gone.

The Investigating Team then spent 3 years building a V E R Y  strong case against my Assailant.
Unfortunately, as it was a "Historical Rape" the Jury did not find him Guilty, although they knew he had done it.
One Juror dropped out on the second day, as she couldn't take the evidence being revealed, and of course the subject of the Court Case.
There were 3 Jurors after the Trial who approached my Parents and Husband, and said they believed M E.

Which brings me T O D A Y, just over 5 years later, after the Court Case ...

I emailed my Lead Detective last week with my safety concerns because as of 5 years ago,
H E was living in the next Town over 114km {70 Miles}, and staying/living there with his parents.

My husband's Mother is due to pass away any day, we were advised last Tuesday 11th June that she had 24-48 hours left, and she still hanging in there, but now we/she are down to {hopefully} the last hours, as she now has a "Death Rattle" which is common in the elderly before they pass.

This means that when she does pass, and the family puts the Death Notice in the Newspaper/Online, it means my name will be in the Paper - again.

"Advanced Roof Repairs Nelson Ltd."

I also accepted a new Job earlier in the week to be "The Face" of a locally owned family construction business "Advanced Roof Repairs Nelson Ltd." - I am their "Social Media Maven" at present.
Which means when they run any advertising campaigns etc, I will be the Face of the Company, rather than the Owner Tony - I had a Meeting earlier in the week with the "Waimea Weekly" to discuss the Budget and Advertising Campaign.

My N E W Zimmer Frame "Hunter"
w/ Breakthrough Space Age Technology like a Carbon Fibre Frame
and the best of Danish Design

Along with my Long Term Depression, Nightmares and Flashbacks, I also have the Pain from my Spinal issues.
Sixteen weeks ago I had my second Spinal Operation, a "Revisal Coccygectomy", and I am also waiting on two more Spinal Operations {Spinal Fusion with Bone Graft and Cage at C4/C5, and Spinal Fusion of the Neck} and a full Ankle/Foot Reconstruction as I have "Tibialis Posterior Tenosynovitis" + Adult Flatfoot Deformity.

A N D, as I am now on a N E W Zimmer Frame, I named "Hunter" as it came to mind instantly, so that became her name!
For the past 30 years I have felt like the "Hunt-ed", but just recently, I have started to feel more like the "Hunt-er", as I start to come to terms with what has happened to me, both Mentally and Physically. 
"Hunter" has b
reakthrough Space Age Technology like a Carbon Fibre Frame, and has the best of Danish Design ...

"The Nelson Adventure Film Night"

I was actually so excited, as last week I had won Premier Tickets to MD Outdoors Presents "The Nelson Adventure Film Night" @ the "Suter Art Gallery", screening a selection of incredible local films!
I was so excited, that I rang 7 different family members and friends, and none of them wanted/could go.
As I am so scared for my safety, especially now that I am on a Zimmer Frame I didn't go, as there was no way I felt I could go on my own, and be S A F E.

Which brings me to
° of Separation ...

Yesterday, after tracking down H I S Sister-In-Law, I then discovered how
M A N Y  "friends of friends" we have in common.
The first one that alarmed me was my best-friend's Mom, along with my former Neighbour, an ex-work colleague of my Husbands, a MakeUp Artist friend, a childhood friend's Mom, a former Retail Assistant at my local Pharmacy, a Hubby from Baby Group {when the kiddos were little - I am friends with both Mr and Mrs on FB}, one of my Clients, A N D my Best friend!!!

My intention is not to out anyone, as his Sister-In-Law is likely Ashamed, Embarrassed, Angry and Horrified, at what he has done.
I often think of the families of the "B A D  P E R S O N", as they, the families are often just as innocent as the Victim{s}.
Sometimes, even having to report their own family member{s} to the Police, as they, the
"B A D  P E R S O Nmay be hurting those closest around them, before escalating and taking it out their Anger/Grief/Frustration/Evilness on strangers - and W R E C K I N G havoc on their Victims.
Life as a family member is hard, as long ad you're honest with yourself.
Can you imagine having to share the same Surname, and be forever asked ... "are you related to...?"
I too have this problem, as I "share" the same name as my Sister-In-Law - we married brothers!!!

So to conclude, "6° of Separation, In New Zealand, it is more like 3° of Separation ...

I have asked the Police to get eyes on my Rapist, to see if he is still in the next town over, and for our local Police to be advised of my Safety concerns, and to do regular Drive-bys.

As every day is a F I G H T for survival.

If you need help, please call 1737 to talk, 105 to report a non-life-threatening situation, or 111 if you are in danger.

🩷 2 #SupportLocal  🩷 2 #BuyLocal  🩷 2 #ShopLocal   🩷#LoveLocal
#LivingWithChallengers #Healing #OutAndAbout #SelfCare #KeepBusy #OneDayAtATime #5MinutesAtATime #Trauma #PTSD #BehindTheSmile #Security #BackgroundChecks

Friday 14 June 2024

@ A Funeral In 2024, Do you wear Classic Black or Colour?

@ A Funeral In 2024, Do you wear Classic Black or Colour? 

🩷 So my day started off this morning, with yet another visit the Dr's Rooms, on Friday I have my 29th visit to my GP since last September 2023!!!
Anyways, I was there to see the H.I.P. person, which I really didn't know what they do, so "borrowed" this from my GP'S Website @ Stoke Medical

🩷 H E A L T H   I M P R O V E M E N T  P R A C T I T I O N E R  (H.I.P.)
Employed by Nelson Bays Primary Health, Health Improvement Practitioners (HIPs) are "Behavioural Health Clinicians".

HIPs help with any issues impacting on your health and wellbeing.
HIPs deliver focused 20-30 minute brief intervention for all age groups. 
Services are free and you can often be seen on the same day. 
HIPs can help with:
✦ Managing thoughts, feelings, and behaviours
✦ Stress, anxiety, or feeling down
✦ Coping with Grief and Loss
✦ Sleep
✦ Alcohol and Drug use
✦ Relationship issues
✦ Coping with chronic health conditions
✦ Managing high cholesterol, diabetes, or cardiac conditions 
✦ Accessing other services 

Kelly the HIP taught me the "Grounding Technique 5,4,3,2,1" 
It involves identifying 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

"The Struggle Switch" by Dr Russ Harris

And as I am in so much pain {I'm 15 weeks Post Op from my 2nd Spinal Op}, and am constantly in a "Flight, Fight, Freeze" situation called "The Struggle Switch" by Dr Russ Harris, I am also learning some coping techniques for my stress levels.

My hope is to also join a Coffee Group, or maybe a Spinal Support Group, to make some friends, otherwise, the only people I see each week are my Medical Professionals.

There is a Website called "wellby" which is for the Nelson/Tasman Community.

They have daily/weekly "Talking Cafes", so Fingers and Toes x'ed that I can make the next meeting in my area is on Tuesday @ McCashins  ... 

Wellby Talking Cafés welcome everyone for a relaxed cuppa and can start your journey to connect with others who enjoy the same things. 
You can pop in for a quick chat or stay for a longer conversation with friendly people.
There is no need to register, just turn up on the day.
The Talking Café hosts will warmly welcome you when you arrive.

McCashin's Brewery
660 Main Road
Stoke, Nelson 7011
Phone 03 547 5357 Facebook

"Wellby Talking Café"
Tuesday 18th June 2024 10am > 11.30am

The Creative Craft Room
2 Nashi Place
Stoke, Nelson 7011
Facebook ✦ Email

I went to Women Connecting at "The Creative Craft Room" in Stoke a couple of weeks ago, and sat and had coffee and chatted to the other Crafty Ladies, as due to my lack of Mobility, and Pain, I can't Craft { Y E T }, but can still talk!
It was great catching up with so many of my friends at the Craft Group, as I have known these ladies for years.

It's all about company and friendship, as you can get very lonely while recovering from Surgery, Illness, or moving into your next Chapter.

🩷 I wrote this on my Facebook page last week, as I know there are many #Friends and #Family who stay silent and don't reveal how bad things really are with their own Depression and Suicidal thoughts ...

#Friends and #Family are so IMPORTANT for bringing you ⬆️Up⬆️, when you are so ⬇️Down⬇️ and broken.
If you know of someone who is poorly, rebuilding after Surgery, has their own #Trauma that they are working through - please reach out, and let your #Friend / #Family Member know you are thinking of them.
Often those suffering in silence don't ask for help, till it's too late.

🩷 Please read, and share the document I have below ...

🩷 "Emergency and Support Helplines" 🩷

It's not just the individual person suffering in silence, and fighting to stay on Earth, because every day is a F I G H T  to stay alive and present.
On the other side of the coin are the #Friends and #Family supporting you, as they too can become lost in the situation.
I found the last line on this document very helpful, and forwarded it onto my Husband, in case he needed help too, even though he says he's fine ...

"Skylight" is a Helpline Phone Number for #Friends and #Family members, needing Support, phone 0800 299 100
For support through Trauma, Loss and Grief; 9 am to 5 pm weekdays.

@ A Funeral In 2024, Do you wear Classic Black or Colour? 

🩷 My other part of the day was visiting my Mother-In-Law at the Rest Home, as we were advised yesterday, that she was now in the final stages of passing away, as she wouldn't eat and had lost 6kg in the last month.

She is so concerned about the cost of her Funeral.

I told her not to worry about money, and now is the time to spend with her #Family and #Friends and enjoy these last few days.

I know it's a silly question to ask, but this day and age, for a Funeral in 2024,
should you wear Classic Black, or a Colourful Dress?

As Nola was/is such a vibrant woman, who also presented herself so beautifully in lovely clothes, and always had her Hair and MakeUp done, not to mention her gorgeous Fuchsia Nail Polish.
It seems silly not to wear a colourful Dress in her Memory, however on checking my Wardrobe, I had 4 Brand New Black Dresses, with the Tags still on!

But I think I will wear a Classic Black Dress by "Shine On", and ⬆️U P⬆️ the accessories, with my cute Zimmer Frame {LOL - Tongue-In-Cheek}, and my Hide Vibe Handbag, and Keds Sneakers!

Today's "Dress Code" for Weddings and Funerals is shocking - with people even turning up In jeans and Flip-Flops, for these very special and respective occasions!!!

🩷 W H A T  A M  I  W E A R I N G  T O D A Y ? ...
✦ “Grey Merino w/ Floral Hoodie” by "Shine On"
✦ Pink Ruffle Tee by "Seduce" via Sassys
✦ "Tomas Cropped Skinny Stepped Hem Jean" @ "Shine On"
✦ Cotton Candy Slippers by Furmoo
✦ Ankle Boots via Temu
✦ MakeUp by "Bobbi Brown Cosmetics"
✦ MakeUp Artist Kathe @ JorjaRoseNZ

🩷💋 This came up in my #Timeline today, and it made me #Smile 💋🩷

 🩷 2 #SupportLocal  🩷 2 #BuyLocal  🩷 2 #ShopLocal   🩷#LoveLocal
#LivingWithChallengers #Healing #OutAndAbout #SelfCare #KeepBusy #OneDayAtATime #5MinutesAtATime #Trauma #PTSD #BehindTheSmile #Wellby #McCashins #SupportGroup
#ShineOn #WhatToWear #ClassicBlack #Colour #Funeral #SayingGoodbye

Wednesday 12 June 2024

Oh, and by the way, I P A S S E D ...

🚗The Life Of Kathe ... Monday 10th June 2024 🚗

Today I have a 2-hour 🚗Driving Assessment🚗 - so Fingers and Toes x'ed that I Pass!


Hours later ...

Oh and by the way, I PASSED w/ flying colours, and the Assessor was truly impressed with my #DrivingSkills #OutAndAbout driving around Richmond, Tasman ...

🩷 D R I V I N G    T E S T  ...
We drove past the house that has MY Entrance Way {which is a constant reminder}, then down Salisbury Road to Queen Sreet {the Main Street in our town].  
Then past "Paper Plus Richmond" {where I worked for a number of years}, and where the "BNZ" is now. 
I indicated to her that the ONLY Mall currently in the Region, the "Richmond Mall" on Cnr Queen, Croucher and Talbot Streets, Richmond, Nelson.
I even drove her to work to show her the "Raeward Fresh Tasman" Staff Car Park, for when I return to work ... at 4am in the morning!!!

🩷 P H Y S I C A L    T E S T S ...
On top of Physical Tests, including Measurements / Height / Neck / Waist / Back Movement / Arm{s} / Leg{s} {Right Leg is 2cm longer than the Left} and Ankle Movement.
Filming me getting in and out of the Car, putting the Zimmer Frame in and out of the Car {it won't fit in the boot of the Car}, height of the Car Seats, how Tall I am, Length of my Legs, Coccyx Cushion Displacement, how long I can sit for + many more questions {as this was my second Spinal Operation} ...

THEN there was THE  P r a c t i c a l !!!

🩷 T H E    P R A C T I C A L ...
Giveway Signs, Stop Signs, U Turn, Double {Two Lane} Roundabouts, 100km, Roadworks, 30km, 50km and 100km, use of Mirrors, Traffic Lights, Parking on a Hill, Vigilance, Checking at all times whether there were any bikes, I even told her how slippery the green paint on the road for the Cyclists was!

    >>> she was VERY #Impressed with my #DrivingSkills!!! <<<


🩷 W H A T  A M  I  W E A R I N G  T O D A Y ? ...
✦ “Mineral Nevermind Check Jacket - Green
✦ Navy Top by "NOOZ"
✦ "Wakee Denim Lucy Cargo Jean Khaki" @ "Shine On"
✦ Navy Rose Gold Sparkle Sneakers by "Keds"
✦ MakeUp by "Bobbi Brown Cosmetics"
✦ MakeUp Artist Kathe @ JorjaRoseNZ

🩷 2 #SupportLocal  🩷 2 #BuyLocal  🩷 2 #ShopLocal  🩷 #LoveLocal 

#JorjaRoseNZ #TheLifeOfKathe 
#MUAKathe #OneStepAtATime #LivingLifeWithChallengers #LifeAfterSpinalSurgery #PTSD #SelfCare 
#BlastFromThePast #MemoriesFromAFormerLife #DrivingSkills #DrivingTest #ThePractical #IPassed
#BobbiBrown #BobbiBrownCosmetics #ShineOn #Mineral #NOOZ #Keds 
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