@ A Funeral In 2024, Do you wear Classic Black or Colour?

@ A Funeral In 2024, Do you wear Classic Black or Colour? 

🩷 So my day started off this morning, with yet another visit the Dr's Rooms, on Friday I have my 29th visit to my GP since last September 2023!!!
Anyways, I was there to see the H.I.P. person, which I really didn't know what they do, so "borrowed" this from my GP'S Website @ Stoke Medical

🩷 H E A L T H   I M P R O V E M E N T  P R A C T I T I O N E R  (H.I.P.)
Employed by Nelson Bays Primary Health, Health Improvement Practitioners (HIPs) are "Behavioural Health Clinicians".

HIPs help with any issues impacting on your health and wellbeing.
HIPs deliver focused 20-30 minute brief intervention for all age groups. 
Services are free and you can often be seen on the same day. 
HIPs can help with:
✦ Managing thoughts, feelings, and behaviours
✦ Stress, anxiety, or feeling down
✦ Coping with Grief and Loss
✦ Sleep
✦ Alcohol and Drug use
✦ Relationship issues
✦ Coping with chronic health conditions
✦ Managing high cholesterol, diabetes, or cardiac conditions 
✦ Accessing other services 

Kelly the HIP taught me the "Grounding Technique 5,4,3,2,1" 
It involves identifying 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

"The Struggle Switch" by Dr Russ Harris

And as I am in so much pain {I'm 15 weeks Post Op from my 2nd Spinal Op}, and am constantly in a "Flight, Fight, Freeze" situation called "The Struggle Switch" by Dr Russ Harris, I am also learning some coping techniques for my stress levels.

My hope is to also join a Coffee Group, or maybe a Spinal Support Group, to make some friends, otherwise, the only people I see each week are my Medical Professionals.

There is a Website called "wellby" which is for the Nelson/Tasman Community.

They have daily/weekly "Talking Cafes", so Fingers and Toes x'ed that I can make the next meeting in my area is on Tuesday @ McCashins  ... 

Wellby Talking Cafés welcome everyone for a relaxed cuppa and can start your journey to connect with others who enjoy the same things. 
You can pop in for a quick chat or stay for a longer conversation with friendly people.
There is no need to register, just turn up on the day.
The Talking Café hosts will warmly welcome you when you arrive.

McCashin's Brewery

660 Main Road

Stoke, Nelson 7011

Phone 03 547 5357

www.mccashins.co.nz Facebook www.facebook.com/McCashinsBrewery

"Wellby Talking Café"

Tuesday 18th June 2024 10am > 11.30am

The Creative Craft Room
2 Nashi Place
Stoke, Nelson 7011
Facebook ✦ Email

I went to Women Connecting at "The Creative Craft Room" in Stoke a couple of weeks ago, and sat and had coffee and chatted to the other Crafty Ladies, as due to my lack of Mobility, and Pain, I can't Craft { Y E T }, but can still talk!

It was great catching up with so many of my friends at the Craft Group, as I have known these ladies for years.

It's all about company and friendship, as you can get very lonely while recovering from Surgery, Illness, or moving into your next Chapter.

🩷 I wrote this on my Facebook page last week, as I know there are many #Friends and #Family who stay silent and don't reveal how bad things really are with their own Depression and Suicidal thoughts ...

#Friends and #Family are so IMPORTANT for bringing you ⬆️Up⬆️, when you are so ⬇️Down⬇️ and broken.
If you know of someone who is poorly, rebuilding after Surgery, has their own #Trauma that they are working through - please reach out, and let your #Friend / #Family Member know you are thinking of them.
Often those suffering in silence don't ask for help, till it's too late.

🩷 Please read, and share the document I have below ...

🩷 "Emergency and Support Helplines" 🩷

It's not just the individual person suffering in silence, and fighting to stay on Earth, because every day is a F I G H T  to stay alive and present.
On the other side of the coin are the #Friends and #Family supporting you, as they too can become lost in the situation.
I found the last line on this document very helpful, and forwarded it onto my Husband, in case he needed help too, even though he says he's fine ...

"Skylight" is a Helpline Phone Number for #Friends and #Family members, needing Support, phone 0800 299 100
For support through Trauma, Loss and Grief; 9 am to 5 pm weekdays.

@ A Funeral In 2024, Do you wear Classic Black or Colour? 

🩷 My other part of the day was visiting my Mother-In-Law at the Rest Home, as we were advised yesterday, that she was now in the final stages of passing away, as she wouldn't eat and had lost 6kg in the last month.

She is so concerned about the cost of her Funeral.

I told her not to worry about money, and now is the time to spend with her #Family and #Friends and enjoy these last few days.

I know it's a silly question to ask, but this day and age, for a Funeral in 2024,
should you wear Classic Black, or a Colourful Dress?

As Nola was/is such a vibrant woman, who also presented herself so beautifully in lovely clothes, and always had her Hair and MakeUp done, not to mention her gorgeous Fuchsia Nail Polish.
It seems silly not to wear a colourful Dress in her Memory, however on checking my Wardrobe, I had 4 Brand New Black Dresses, with the Tags still on!

But I think I will wear a Classic Black Dress by "Shine On", and ⬆️U P⬆️ the accessories, with my cute Zimmer Frame {LOL - Tongue-In-Cheek}, and my Hide Vibe Handbag, and Keds Sneakers!

Today's "Dress Code" for Weddings and Funerals is shocking - with people even turning up In jeans and Flip-Flops, for these very special and respective occasions!!!

🩷 W H A T  A M  I  W E A R I N G  T O D A Y ? ...
✦ “Grey Merino w/ Floral Hoodie” by "Shine On"

✦ Pink Ruffle Tee by "Seduce" via Sassys
✦ "Tomas Cropped Skinny Stepped Hem Jean" @ "Shine On"
✦ Cotton Candy Slippers by Furmoo
✦ Ankle Boots via Temu
✦ MakeUp by "Bobbi Brown Cosmetics"
✦ MakeUp Artist Kathe @ JorjaRoseNZ

🩷💋 This came up in my #Timeline today, and it made me #Smile 💋🩷

 🩷 2 #SupportLocal  🩷 2 #BuyLocal  🩷 2 #ShopLocal   🩷#LoveLocal

#LivingWithChallengers #Healing #OutAndAbout #SelfCare #KeepBusy #OneDayAtATime #5MinutesAtATime #Trauma #PTSD #BehindTheSmile #Wellby #McCashins #SupportGroup
#ShineOn #WhatToWear #ClassicBlack #Colour #Funeral #SayingGoodbye

Oh, and by the way, I P A S S E D ...

🚗The Life Of Kathe ... Monday 10th June 2024 🚗

Today I have a 2-hour 🚗Driving Assessment🚗 - so Fingers and Toes x'ed that I Pass!
 

Hours later ...

Oh and by the way, I PASSED w/ flying colours, and the Assessor was truly impressed with my #DrivingSkills #OutAndAbout driving around Richmond, Tasman ...

🩷 D R I V I N G    T E S T  ...
We drove past the house that has MY Entrance Way {which is a constant reminder}, then down Salisbury Road to Queen Sreet {the Main Street in our town].  
Then past "Paper Plus Richmond" {where I worked for a number of years}, and where the "BNZ" is now. 
I indicated to her that the ONLY Mall currently in the Region, the "Richmond Mall" on Cnr Queen, Croucher and Talbot Streets, Richmond, Nelson.
I even drove her to work to show her the "Raeward Fresh Tasman" Staff Car Park, for when I return to work ... at 4am in the morning!!!

🩷 P H Y S I C A L    T E S T S ...
On top of Physical Tests, including Measurements / Height / Neck / Waist / Back Movement / Arm{s} / Leg{s} {Right Leg is 2cm longer than the Left} and Ankle Movement.
Filming me getting in and out of the Car, putting the Zimmer Frame in and out of the Car {it won't fit in the boot of the Car}, height of the Car Seats, how Tall I am, Length of my Legs, Coccyx Cushion Displacement, how long I can sit for + many more questions {as this was my second Spinal Operation} ...

THEN there was THE  P r a c t i c a l !!!

🩷 T H E    P R A C T I C A L ...
Giveway Signs, Stop Signs, U Turn, Double {Two Lane} Roundabouts, 100km, Roadworks, 30km, 50km and 100km, use of Mirrors, Traffic Lights, Parking on a Hill, Vigilance, Checking at all times whether there were any bikes, I even told her how slippery the green paint on the road for the Cyclists was!

    >>> she was VERY #Impressed with my #DrivingSkills!!! <<<
And I PASSED!!!

 
  

🩷 W H A T  A M  I  W E A R I N G  T O D A Y ? ...
✦ “Mineral Nevermind Check Jacket - Green”
✦ Navy Top by "NOOZ"
✦ "Wakee Denim Lucy Cargo Jean Khaki" @ "Shine On"
✦ Navy Rose Gold Sparkle Sneakers by "Keds"
✦ MakeUp by "Bobbi Brown Cosmetics"
✦ MakeUp Artist Kathe @ JorjaRoseNZ

🩷 2 #SupportLocal  🩷 2 #BuyLocal  🩷 2 #ShopLocal  🩷 #LoveLocal 

#JorjaRoseNZ #TheLifeOfKathe #MUAKathe #OneStepAtATime #LivingLifeWithChallengers #LifeAfterSpinalSurgery #PTSD #SelfCare 

#BlastFromThePast #MemoriesFromAFormerLife #DrivingSkills #DrivingTest #ThePractical #IPassed
#BobbiBrown #BobbiBrownCosmetics #ShineOn #Mineral #NOOZ #Keds 

Mother's Day 2024 ...

Mother's Day 2024

Wishing all the Mums out there a Happy Mother's Day.

This sincere message is going out to all the Mums, StepMums, WanaBeMums, TryingToBeMums FurMums, GrandMums, SisterMums, AuntieMums, Mums whose Partner has given birth, Mums who have lost a child, Fathers who have lost their childs Mother figure, and Fathers who are in same-sex relationships, and taken on both roles as Mother and Father, and for a lot of us, women who have lost their own Mum to soon/early...

For many, Mums, they look forward to Mother's Day, but to others, including myself, Mother's Day is a Trigger, along with other certain days, like Easter and Christmas.

It's funny looking back ... as a Child people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up?

My answer was always to be a "Mother", but I soon learned that people didn't like that answer, they wanted a Career, so I made it up, now I wanted to be a "Chartered Accountant".
That later changed to "Forensic Pathologist".

For me, I spend Mother's Day on the verge of Tears, and do cry several times during the day.

As a Mother, I feel inadequate, because I was never able to get down on the floor and play with them as babies.

I wasn't able to breastfeed either of my babies {because of my health}, who were 17 months apart.

The Kiddos were never put in Day Care, or as my friends called it "School".

Because I have been sick most of my Adult life due to a Jet Boat accident in 1996, I constantly worry that this has impacted on my kid's lives.

As the kids grew up, we took heaps of photos, but I was always insecure about my appearance, and have less than a handful of photos with me and the kids.

Literally, these are all the Photos of us together, that I have ...

When Reilly was about five months old, I was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression, which has now developed into "Long Term Depression", and I have been on Meds since I was 19 years old.

I/we are so proud of our son Reilly, 22 years old, as he graduates from University this week with Honours, in a "Bachelor of Engineering", and First Class Honours in Software Engineering.

Reilly is already employed as a Software Engineer at a BIG company in Wellington, on more $ than my Hubby earns!

JorjaRose still lives at home with us, and has been working at The Warehouse for 3 years now.
She is very Artistic, and loves to spend her days reading, or putting Kit Sets together - like our new {Work In Progress} Bathrooms!

Please do not get me wrong, being a Mother has been my greatest accomplishment so far, and I told my daughter so last week.
Of the last 30 years I have been through, my/our Kiddos have pulled me through times of Depression, two Spinal Op's with another 2 needed + a total reconstruction of my Ankle/Foot next year, and numerous accidents, where they {as Kiddos} had to call the Ambulance.
 
I fought like hell to have a family, like many other women, after having 2 Miscarriages.

With both Kiddos, I didn't find out what we were expecting, when Reilly was born unplanned on Rubbish Bags at our new Home {Yes, another Chapter}, we named him "Reilly John", John is a family name, and "JorjaRose" was saved for later, if we were fortunate enough to get a baby girl.

Their initials are actually switched, RJ and JR, and I have a Ying Yang Tattoo {from 20 years ago!!!} with 2 Dolphins chasing each other on my lower back - yes a Tramp Stamp!

Whilst pregnant with {pregnancy #4} JorjaRose, I lost my Memory, and got severe "Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction" {when the Pelvis separates}.
By 31 weeks, I was on Crutches with 2 Smiley Belts {to winch my Pelvis closed}, and a double TubiGrip {elasitacate Bandage} that supported me from mid-Thigh to under the Bust.
I was eventually hospitalised and in a Wheel Chair for a week, before she was induced at 38/3.
When she finally arrived {that is a whole Chapter on it's own}, I couldn't believe I had a baby girl, after all that I had gone through to get her.

As I always wanted to be a Mum, I worked my hardest to be there for them both, most people assumed I had twins as they were the same size.

I went back to work when JorjaRose was one year old to the day!
Fortunately, I was able to spend the day with the Kiddos, and I worked a Night Shift, from 4pm on - way past midnight, as a "Duty Manager" in an expensive Resort Hotel for 3 and a 1/4 years, that started 01.08.2004

Apart from my insecurities about being a "good Mother", what hurts the most about Mother's Day for me, is that my Kiddos hardly ever acknowledge it.

This year, I got a Text from my 22-year-old son, and my 20-year-old daughter has not mentioned a bean about Mother's Day today.

In the past I have been so upset, and have brought it up more than once to my hubby, and he would say, "Well you're not my Mother"! 
I would reply with "No, but I am the Mother of your Children and you need to act on their behalf".

Mother's Day has also affected my own Mother, as because I am so sad on Mother's Day, the last thing I want to do is pop around and be a happy dutiful Daughter, when literally some Mother's Day{s} I have spent curled up in bed crying.

Today I went out of my way to make my Mum feel special.
I gave her a handmade Card with a Bookmark, a Photo Collage, a Cadbury Moro, and a Richmond Mall Voucher, plus I drove around to her house and shared a cupper with her this afternoon.

AND I sang her "Happy Mother's Day" twice!

I explained to Mum how much Mother's Day affects me {in Tears}, and she assured me she has some photos tucked away of me and the Kiddos, but in the interim, this is all that I have ...

My hope is that if I am fortunate enough to become a Gran/Nana, I will teach my Grandbabies the importance of being thankful towards their Parents, and that Mother's Day and Father's Day should be "Any Day", as every day we should be thankful for what we have.

Last week, I decided to start "My Next Chapter", so I am taking photos of myself {and with the Kiddos}, Posting online, and sharing my Truth.

So the moral to my story about Mother's Day is Social Media is F A K E  

We are all faking it, and pretending that we are "Happy" and "Cherry" with our Posts about Mother's Day, but deep down, some of us are crying on the inside.

I want you to know you are not alone.   I cry with you. 

 

"The Life Of Kathe" 

#TheLifeOfKathe #MothersDay #TriggerWarning #PTSD #LongTermDepression  #LivingWithChallengers #SelfCare
Clothing by #ShineOn #VineApparel #NOOZ 
MakeUp By #BobbiBrown #CharlotteTilbury